What to pack?

Yesterday, Mark and I decided it was time to start thinking of getting my hospital bags packed. Some may laugh or scoff at such preparedness, after all, at 28 weeks; there are still 12 more to go. However, all anal retentiveness aside, it really struck me the other day that making these arrangements couldn’t hurt.

Commuting on the Go Train last Thursday was a nightmare. The train before ours had been cancelled, so GO Transit decided to pack the two busiest commuter trains of the morning into one. It was so squished standing up that I couldn’t even move my arm out in front of me to read the newspaper. Noticing my belly, the man beside me (or almost on top of me…depends at how you define being crammed like a can of sardines on a commuter train) asks me when I’m due.

Secretly I’m hoping his comment grabs the attention of someone in a nearby seat. Being offered a seat instead of standing sounded so nice at that moment. The woman who usually offers me her seat was not on the train that day. Interestingly enough, a few people who did have seats looked up at me, glanced at my belly, then diverted their eyes back to their newspaper. Either they didn’t think my stomach was big enough to cause me any grief when standing in one spot for 40 minutes at a time (as out train was no longer an express train), or they just didn’t care. Either way, I was miffed.

All selfishness aside for wanting to sit down, I told the man I was due in April. He then asked me if I had my bags packed. Thinking he was joking, I said no. He said it’s never too early. His daughter arrived 6 weeks early. Pondering his comment, I realized I am aware of many women who never carried their babies the full 40 weeks. My friend and co-workers first child was born at 28 weeks, and her child was born at 31 weeks (although in her case there was extenuating circumstances), my friend’s sister in law gave birth at 37 weeks, and now the man on the Go train was informing me of his daughter’s early arrival at 34 weeks old.

Deciding it was time to start considering the possibility that we may not have a full 12 weeks left to prepare, hubby and I ventured out yesterday to try and stock up on a few baby necessities.

I quickly learned that I have absolutely no clue what a baby needs in their first few weeks of life. I went online to try and learn about what one recommends a mom in labour bring with her to the hospital for her and her baby. Of course, I am bombarded with a million different opinions (even about what brand of baby shampoo to buy).

Feeling somewhat armed with the knowledge of what a newborn needs, our first stop was Wal-Mart. Making a beeline to the baby section, I suddenly realize the immensity of the products available. The diaper aisle was literally the length of an entire wall, and reached from the floor to the ceiling. And baby hygiene products! Since when did babies require soothing lavender and other aroma therapy like creams and bath gels? Mark was kind enough to bring the nipple cream to my attention. “Look honey, it's for dry and chapped nipples from breastfeeding. Do you want some of this? How about this gas relief stuff for the baby…maybe I should buy some for me too!”, he joked. I was still stuck on whether it would be Pampers or Huggies…

Feeling totally lost, we left the store and decided to go and buy a curtain rod at Sears. I needed to accomplish something I was actually good at, and buying something to decorate the baby’s room was something I at least knew the basics about.

Deciding to stall feeling like a hopeless parent for a just a little longer, I dragged Mark to Baby Gap. I found the most adorable coming home outfit. My irrational side was just itching to buy it, but my rational side kept thinking that spending a lot of money on an outfit the baby will fit in only a couple of weeks was unreasonable. It’s just so cute though. I might splurge (just this once honey I promise)!!!!


It was now getting late, and putting off the inevitable was not helping matters. Heads hanging low, starting to feel overwhelmed with the idea of caring for a newborn, we walked over to Zellers to attempt to learn about baby products and regain some shred of confidence we would be OK parents.

First things first, diapers. The Pampers Newborn package says the diapers grow with baby. Huggies did not. Done deal (although I don’t yet understand how a diaper grows).

Shampoo…do we want a shampoo/body wash combo or both? One bottle sounds simpler. The friendly couple beside us recommended Gerber’s! Done Deal! The couple also recommended the Gerbers moisturizing lotion. Sceptical, I thanked them for their advice and once they were gone asked my husband if you really need to moisturize a baby? Aren’t they just always soft by default?

Butt cream! Do we just buy Vaseline, or do we need something to prevent and treat diaper rashes? Wait, the stuff for a diaper rash doesn’t go on with every diaper does it? Enough was enough. I pulled out my cell phone and called my mom. Her answer to keeping a baby’s bum dry was simple. Corn Starch! Apparently I lived with the starchy goo in my diapers and had a total of only one diaper rash in my life. Not only was her solution cheaper, but like she reminded me, Vaseline would be one awful mess to clean trying to wipe it off along with a bum covered in poop! YIKES! Enough said. Corn starch it will be! I also asked her about baby moisturizer. Giggling, she said that you probably don’t “need” to use it, but she always used it on me and my brother because it had such a nice baby smell that she loved so much. Done deal! Nice smelling baby it will be!

So how is it that I can have my strategies and opinions on whether or not to spank, my choice to breastfeed, my reasons for not baptising the baby, my decision about whether or not to circumcise (if it’s a boy), and my beliefs about how we will introduce and incorporate spirituality and various religions into my child’s life all figured out, but I don’t even know what sort of butt cream I should be using.

I guess when it comes to parenting; there will always be challenges such as these. Even if its only deciding what brand of diapers to buy, or if you’ll use Vaseline or corn starch to protect their little baby bums from a rash, or how you will bring spirituality into their lives, one thing is certain, I have definitely found a new respect for my parents! To the moms and dads of the world, I salute you!

Daily Activity Report Card

When awakened by the cat purring and licking my head at 5:18 in the morning, grumpily pushed him off the bed muttering, “Goofball, go harass your father”. (-2 )

Was gently awoken by the gentle touch of my husband this morning as opposed to the relentless beeping of an alarm clock. (+3 )

Mood turned grumpy when I realized I had to venture out in the cold to drive him to the train station. (-1)

Cursed out loud when the car doors where frozen shut. (-1)

Cursed even more at broken automatic garage door opener for crapping out on us in the middle of a Canadian winter deep freeze. (-1 )

Ate a healthy twelve grain bagel with peanut butter and had a glass calcium fortified orange juice for breakfast. (+5)

Had a hearty helping of chocolate for breakfast dessert. (-2)

Did my daily treadmill workout. (+8)

Rewarded my workout with a giant rice krispi square.
(-3)

Noticed how disgusting one of the metal things looked underneath the stove element and decided to do something about it. (+3)

Switched the grubby metal thing with the clean one from the back of the stove (out of sight, out of mind has been my motto as of late)!
(-1)

Tidied up the kitchen, actually emptied the dishwasher (instead of using it as the primary source for clean dishes), reloaded it with the stack of dirty dishes in the sink and ran a
load of dishes. (+4)

Decided to have a nice relaxing bath, complete with lots of fluffy bubbles. (+4)

Screamed like a banshee after stepping into icy cold water after the dishwasher robbed the hot water tank of all its warm water. (-2)

Did four loads of laundry. (+7)

Left the last load in the dryer because I’m too lazy to fold it. (-1)

Left the second last load of clean clothes in a pile of the floor because I am even lazier than you think. (-2)

Took note of how dirty our entrance hallway has become from all the dirty and messy winter boots entering the house. Made a mental note we need a mat at the doorway. (+3)

Due to my recent condition called the Pregnancy Stupids, quickly realized mental notes and lists mean absolutely nothing. Decided to leave the mess on the floor and threw down an ugly frayed orange towel instead. (It will just be messy again tomorrow anyways....) (-4)

Developed a hankering for something salty. Realizing that I am not a happy camper when my cravings are not fulfilled, I decided to be proactive about my hunger and quickly waddled
to the kitchen to see what I could inhale to satisfy my craving. (+3)

Realizing there was nothing to eat, I bribed my husband to go out in the cold and find me something. (-4)

Decided I was tired around 9:30 and went upstairs to get ready for bed. Not fighting my fatigue and getting a good nights rest was the responsible thing to do for mom and baby. (+6)

Skipped flossing because (surprise surpise) it takes too much effort. Decided instead to use Listerine (even though their slogan that it’s just as good as flossing has been disproved and they are being taken to court about it). (-3)

Well it looks like my score is still on the plus side of the number spectrum. I'll salute my efforts with an A+.

All Hail the Queen of Cayo Coco

That is, all hail my mom, with her newly acquired (and highly prized) title as the “Queen of Cayo Coco Cuba”.

I am sure I will not be able to communicate my mom’s adventure of how she came to deserve such a designation as well as she is able to, but this story had me rolling on the floor with laughter and was such a spirit booster after my “miserable monday” that I wanted to share it with blogland. Here is my humble approach to recount one her many adventures she had while visiting the sun filled island of Cuba.

It all started innocently enough as she was having a conversation with one of the friendly staff members at the resort. There was a small production of sorts taking place on a stage for the children at the resort after the dinner hour. While enjoying her after dinner cocktail, she mentioned to the bar tender how she would love to have a chance to get on stage at some point.

This is where I think I need to provide some background information on my mother. She wasn’t just making idle chit chat about longing to be on stage, she was dead serious. My mom doesn’t have a shy bone in her body, and loves to try new things (even in front of large crowds).

After the children’s show ended, the “adult” entertainment was next on the evening’s amusement lineup. My parents were sitting somewhere in the back of the audience, chit chatting away with the same friendly bartender, only half paying attention to what was starting up on the center stage. Out of the corner of her eye though, she could see two beautiful young blonds standing up on the stage looking out in the crowd. The audience was also turning this way and that way, looking around, trying to find the third contestant that was being summoned up onto the stage. Finally, her bartender friend nudged her and said,” That’s your cue Brenda! You said you wanted to go onstage, so get GOING!”

Somewhat shocked, my mom realized she had no idea what was going on, or what she was supposed to be going on stage for. Up until this point, she hadn’t been paying attention to what was happening on the stage (as she was absorbed in her friendly conversation with her new friend), and now all of a sudden she had been pin pointed in the audience as the third contestant and she had a crowd of people cheering her on for an event she didn’t even know the first thing about, except her two competitors were young, blond and gorgeous.

As I said earlier, my mom loves to try new things and is always up for a new adventure. Inhibition is not a word in her vocabulary. Figuring she would soon learn what she was on stage for anyways, she gave her friend a look of shock, followed by a “you’ll hear from me later” gaze, and made her way up to stage with the encouragement and cheers of the audience behind her.

Once onstage, she learned she would be competing for the title “Queen of Cayo Coco”. Glancing over at her competitors, she realized this was going to be quite the event.

The first order of duty to be awarded the distinguished title was to perform a provocative dance for the audience. To my astonishment, by popular vote, my mom won this round of the competition.

I think its time to insert another snippet about my mom here. Although I am not aware of (and do not want to know of) any incidences where a provocative dance has been performed in the past by my mom), she absolutely LOVES to dance. She loves to dance, shake noisemakers and sing the “cucaracha” with my little baby cousin Amy, she has been known on occasion to dance on the odd picnic table, and even on Easter mornings with her daughter (me) before breakfast to the beat of a singing toy hamster (evidence of our monkey business can be seen here).

The second obligation to fulfill was to guess the age of an inadequately clothed man by touch alone. My mom lost this round of the competition, but something tells me rubbing her hands all over some young mans rippled chest more than made up for her loss.

The next task was to run out and kiss as many men in the audience as you could in only 30 seconds. I was sure my mom would win this round of the competition. After a vigorous year of exercising on the treadmill everyday, I was sure she would leave the other two women chocking on her dust. I’ll chalk up her loss here to the fact that she “must” have taken the time to scope out my dad and plant the first kiss on him! (You did give dad a kiss here right mom??)

The fourth and final leg of the competition involved improv acting skills. The category to act out (alone on the stage with nothing but yourself) was “What it’s like to wake up a man”. Eyebrows raised and jaw on the floor; I could sense where her story was about heading. Yes, my mom knew exactly what her skit would consist of. All dignity aside, she proceeded to simulate her idea of waking up a man by rolling out of bed with a big yawn. She then proceeded to scratch a certain nether region, followed by some rather obscene farting noises, and ended her demonstration by imitating a sleepy man attempting to urinate anywhere but IN the toilet bowl. Yes, this improvisation took the cake. The audience gave her a standing ovation and the title “Queen of Cayo Coco” had been awarded to her majesty, my mom.

The show did not end there. The host, looking at all three contestants announced, “Now, let’s have the audience line up behind the contestant who REALLY should have been the Queen of Cayo Coco”. At that moment, she was sure the audience favorite would be one of the two gorgeous young women standing beside her.

Much to her surprise, the line up to determine the “real” audience favorite extended behind her all the way off the stage and outside the theater boundaries. It was official, the visitors of Cayo Coco Cuba had a favorite, and it was my mom. I can’t say I blame them. What’s not to love about her? She is such a wonderful person. Her energy and spirit are a breath of fresh air, and her passion for life never fails to amaze me. You’ve always been my top pick too mom! Congratulations on your week long reign of Cayo Coco Cuba, and welcome home!

Dreaming of Baby

I had a strange dream last night about the baby.

My dream started out quite normal. I was enjoying feeling my baby moving around in my stomach. The difference was, I was able to clearly make out what body part was moving. As I would rub my tummy, I could feel little baby feet. I could trace the outline perfectly and even feel the ripples of 5 little toes too!

I remember feeling completely elated about being able to feel and tickle the two little feet of my unborn child. We were playing a game where she would push her feet up against my stomach waiting for me to tickle them, and then kick about in shear excitement from feeling the first sensations of a tickle on her sensitive little baby feet.

Later in the dream, the skin surrounding my stomach changed in texture and consistency and became extremely stretchy and thin…so thin in fact, it was almost translucent. I was actually able to see the tiny wrinkles of her toes and her miniature little toenails.

Sometimes, the baby would lunge forward, as if trying to jump out of my stomach, and although still protected by my saran wrap like skin, the way the skin hugged and conformed to her body allowed me to decipher and appreciate all her wonderful little features.

I was awoken out of my dreamlike state to the recognizable sensations of movement in my stomach. Reaching down to hug my belly, I was disappointed to discover that I couldn’t tell what part I was feeling moving across my hand. It took me a moment to realize I had only been dreaming, and then slowly drifted back to sleep, feeling comforted that it won’t be long now before I will be holding my daughter for real, and enjoying her little legs kicking up in the air as I tickle her toes.

Most Miserable Day of the Year

Today, January 24th, 2005 is being called the worst day of the year!

I laughed this morning when I heard this statement on the news. A British Psychologist who specializes in seasonal disorders has devised a formula that apparently show misery peaks today!

The model is: [W + (D-d)] x TQ
--------------------
M x NA

The seven variables taken into account are:
W - weather
D - debt
d - monthly salary
T - time since Christmas
Q - time since failed quit attempt
M - low motivational levels
NA - the need to take action

I would like to challenge Dr. Cliff Arnall's formula as today, my misery has hit an all time high. Not because winter weather is wearing me down, or because of holiday debt or failed New Years resolutions. No, my misery stems from the lack of discretion and sensitivity of dim-witted people.

Today, someone felt it necessary to let me know that it looks like I have put on a lot of weight, and that it is really showing in my face!



I tuned out the rest of the shocking comments because I could feel the familiar burning sensation in the back of my eyes that told me the tears would be starting soon, but there was another jab thrown in there about how slim and slender I used to be!

To maintain what’s left of my dignity, I have devised my own formula to calculate misery.

Stupid People * Number of Missing Brain Cells
----------------------------------------------------
Insensitivity Quotient

I wonder if Dr. Arnall needs a partner who specializes in people disorders….

27 Week Roundup

Baby: Heavyweight champ weighing in at about a whopping 2lbs.

Kicking: Like a black belt Karate Master! Baby knows mom loves watching her move around and tries to guess what body part she is seeing. For spooks, likes to send mom telepathic images of the movie “Tremors”.

Mood: Sarcastic! (See above).

Latest Development: Aside from recently mastering the cha-cha and several new karate moves, apparently baby has opened her eyes, and can respond to a light source! Not one to forgo an interesting experiment, mom now enjoys shining a flashlight at her belly. Baby never humours her attempts to witness a response to the light and lies perfectly still while mom tries to communicate with light signals.


Mom: Growing and Growing and Growing...

Kicking: The sheets off at night…am I going through Menopause too? These hot flashes are too much!

Mood: Mixed. At present, an overwhelming desire to have her own body back, yet still excited she is the vehicle that will bear new life into her family in a short time.

Latest Development: A pregnancy waddle pregnancy sway worthy enough to make a penguin jealous! Mom has embraced her new technique of getting around and can still leave a busy crowd of commuters choking in her dust as she whizzes on by!


Dad: Super Hero as always (that will never change).

Kicking: (and cursing) when yet another baby item requires assembly or 43 000 D batteries. Why does everything baby require so many batteries?

Mood: Impatient. Dad was ready to be done with this pregnancy at about week six. Sounds like someone is excited to meet their daughter!

Latest Development: Officially awarded the title of “Master Assembler of all Baby Equipment”. This award was humbly accepted through clenched teeth and an artificial smile.

Hibernating Through a Blizzard

Yesterday we were expecting our friends over for dinner. They live about 40 minutes away in Newcastle, and it’s always such a pleasure when we get to see them. They just got back from their third trip to Las Vegas in 2004 and we were excited to hear all about their vacation.

They absolutely love Las Vegas, and it was through their enthusiasm and recommendations that Mark and I decided to go to Vegas last summer (you can watch our Vegas video on his blog if you like…see the right hand navigation bar titled Daemon Cain's Video Collection

We had planned a fun filled evening of talk, laughter, beer (or juice if you happen to be pregnant), snacking and of course, Vegas Monopoly. I love a good game of monopoly. I am always a big risk taker. Mark on the other hand, plays the game with much more caution and usually come out on top.

We liken our approach to monopoly to our investments strategies. Perhaps I should take the fact that I almost always lose at Monopoly as an omen, but so far I haven’t lost our nest egg. I’m going with the theory that I’m young, and now is the time to take a few financial risks. I’ll move over the GIC market when my retirement years start looming closer. Our monopoly modus operandi also resembles our general personality traits. Mark is very patient and big picture focused. I on the other hand, am much more day to day focused and detail oriented. Patience is certainly not my virtue.

Now that I have completely detoured from my original train of thought (have I mentioned the “Pregnancy Stupids” before?), around 2:00 in the afternoon I realized that all seven of my salad dressings had expired!

(I haven’t been much interested in salads throughout this pregnancy…chocolate and rice krispi squares have been much more satisfying. Granted, not as healthy, so let’s give three cheers for V8! Three servings of veggies in a can that you gulp down in seconds...yes please!

Mark also realized that his favorite beer accessories (Doritos) were missing in action. I had also forgotten to buy some garlic bread. It doesn’t matter what we’re eating, garlic bread is a staple and tradition for every meal we have with Rich and Ang. Be it steak on the barbecue, Chicken Parm, Burgers or Pizza, you’ll always find a slice of the delicious bread on our plates.

Peering out windows in our sun porch my heart quickly sank. It was a blizzard outside and there was snow almost up to my knees at the front door. Feeling doubtful our friends will be able to make it, I still ventured out in the blizzard to the nearest grocery store to fetch our necessities! The roads were treacherous, the wind was biting cold and I was probably the only fool out driving. I thought it be best to call our friends when I got home and advise them not to even attempt to drive in these weather conditions. Mark delivered the news for me however, when I arrived home that our friends wouldn’t be able to make it. Disappointed, I completely understood. Even with their 4x4, it would be silly to drive the 401 series highway in those conditions.

So what is a girl to do when the whole afternoon opens up and she is stuck indoors? Why, go into hibernation mode and sleep of course! I laid down for a nap around 4:00 and slept until 6:00 pm! Upon waking, Mark and I cooked our dinner, I worked out on the treadmill, watched a bit of television, and then I was back in bed by 10:00 and out like a light until 9:00 this morning.

Mark just came into the bedroom and announced he is going out to shovel. I looked up in sheer pity…the poor guy just shoveled a wallop of the white stuff yesterday. “Have fun! I’ll keep the bed warm!” Oh the small pleasures of pregnancy! No heavy lifting for me! I get to sit here warm and cozy in bed, snuggled in with my notebook computer, two cats and my favorite Dido tunes.

The "Pregnancy Stupids"

This morning I had the pleasure of leisurely rolling out of bed at 7:00 am. Fridays are wonderful for sleeping in, as I get to work at home. The mad rush to get ready for the day on Friday mornings is to find a pair of socks and make sure I don’t have bed head before heading out the door to drive my husband to the train station (ok, some days I do even forgo the bed head task).

Today I had another episode of what I like to call my “pregnancy stupids”. The episode occurred when I suddenly realized I was no longer heading in the right direction to go home after dropping off my husband. I had completely missed my cut off and somehow still managed to keep driving as if I knew where I was going, destination unchanged.

I really don’t understand how or why pregnant woman claim to experience episodes of the “stupids”, but I hear about the forgetful and wandering minds of a pregnant women the world over time and time again.

The most distressing recurrence of the “pregnancy stupids” always seems to occur when I am in mid-sentence, and my mind will unexpectedly draw a blank. The cobwebs in my brain seem to suddenly thicken, and I cannot locate the next word I mean to speak, or I just loose my train of thought all together and am left stumbling “er” and “um” until I can remember what the heck I was talking about.

I’m surprised I didn’t need Polaroids of my family just to complete my holiday shopping.

Always being the trooper that I am, I have come up with some strategies to help me through the next 13 weeks.

Strategy 1:
Relinquish the endless lists. They are all but forgotten when I really need them anyway. If we run out of toilet paper, there’s always Kleenex (mental note: we really do need to go buy toilet paper…can you add that to your capable rememberal honey?...Cottonelle is on sale at Zellers this week).

Strategy 2:
Have my husband follow me around all day and pick up things I leave behind, carry supplies and make sure I get on the right trains and into the right vehicles. He can also serve as my translator when I start stumbling for words and cannot finish my sentences anymore.

Strategy 3:
Wash all clothes together (my husband survived college without seperating his colours from the darks, so I'm sure this faux paux will not cause the world to come to a screeching halt).

Strategy 4:
File absolutely everything under miscellaneous and label every drawer “Junk Drawer”.

Strategy 5:
Conserve brain power and use it in constructive bursts. Accepting that I cannot be clever or witty for more than but a few moments at a time will aid me greatly when explaining to my boss why I need frequent breaks and mental timeouts. I’m sure she’ll understand and allow me to bring all my baby books to work to pass the time while waiting for my brain to recharge.

Strategy 5:
Delegate (I never much liked chores like cleaning the bathroom anyways).

Strategy 6:
Maintain a sense of humor and eat plenty of chocolate.

Update:
Case and Point! Not 10 minutes after posting this blog, I sprayed a hearty coating of air freshener over my table instead of using Pledge like a sound minded invidual would do. I hope our company this weekend appreciates the garden fresh smell under their plates!

Traumatic Event!

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This photograph has long been the running joke in my family about how I came to be a vegetarian!

Truth be told, I can’t remember a time I ever loved to eat meat. Even as a young kid I didn’t like hamburgers or hotdogs, and would only eat white breast meat.

I stopped eating eggs when I was in grade six (11 years old). My friends and I were convinced that the little white chunk you find in the egg yolk was the baby chicken’s umbilical cord. (Have I ever mentioned how naïve I am?). How an umbilical cord could pierce through a hard egg shell I will never know, but I was convinced, and that was enough to turn me off eggs forever.

The following year (in grade 7), I gave up meat completely, and through the years, have had my fair share of food mishaps. I have a very peculiar and strict vegetarian eating style that often leaves me feeling somewhat embarrassed or looking like a complete freak. (I’ll leave that for you to decide).

I think my biggest struggle as of late is attending business luncheons or going out for dinner at “Non Vegetarian” style restaurants. The latest incident to occur was our department Christmas lunch at The Keg Steakhouse. What might you suggest a vegetarian do in this situation? Part of me didn’t want to attend, as I was slightly miffed that a vegetarian eating preference was not taken into consideration when choosing a restaurant, but the other part of me also realized that the majority absolutely would love a scrumptious steak dinner for lunch.

So what is a vegetarian to do you might ask? Why, we order 18 side dishes! I always feel so foolish ordering from this section of the menu. “Umm…yes, I will take a side of asparagus, a side of cauliflower, a side of mash potatoes, a side salad, a side of carrots, and oh yes, I’ll just be hiding under the table when you bring me 18 separate plates food! The absolute worst was at a different business function where the restaurant of choice had not one item on the menu I could stomach (and much to my embarrassment and horror, I learned that a shitake mushroom was NOT pronounced shit-take, but rather shi-tah-kee). I ended up ordering a plate of fruit! How silly that must have looked. I simply claimed my stomach was in knots and I wanted something “light”.

My husband even finds my avoidance of delivery pizza rather peculiar. I will not eat it because the knife used to cut a vegetarian pizza could have been used to cut a meat pizza! That means MEAT JUICE is deposited on my lovely meatless pizza. No can do!

I suppose the fact that I do not eat “veggie burgers” would seem strange to most, but they just look like meat, so they’re a no go as well.

There you have it. You now know of my rather strange food idiosyncrasies.

Tease away!

Time is winding down

As I approach my seventh month of this pregnancy, I am noticing more and more with each passing day how my body has truly taken on a mind of its own in an effort to support the growth of my little baby.

Although my trips to the bathroom are about every 4.2 seconds and I seem to constantly have a sore and bothersome lower back, I have had it quite easy when comparing the symptoms of my pregnancy to those of others (and am truly grateful to have progressed so far with no complications and with little discomfort). Nevertheless, I am starting to yearn for the days when I will have my body back.

I tired quite easily these days. My 11 hour work day (with a commute factored in) is starting to take its toll. Thank goodness Crossword Puzzle Lady still offers me her seat every day. I don’t know what I would do without her acts of kindness every morning on my train ride commute downtown.

I am left with one final big project to complete before my departure. I am building an online web application that each of the “Six Big Banks" (Bank of Montreal, Royal Bank Financial Group, TD Canada Trust, Scotiabank and National Bank) will use to compare their employment statistics amongst each other, as well as the Employment Equity statistics provided from Statistics Canada’s Census data.

It feels sort of surreal some mornings as I make my morning journey through the P.A.T.H. to get to my 30th floor office in the heart of the financial district downtown Toronto. Instead of going to work with the attitude and mindset of accomplishing a ridiculous amount of work, I now meander through the path at a slow pace feeling somewhat nostalgic about my surroundings like my days with them are numbered forever. Work has taken a back seat and my heart is just not in it anymore as I concentrate on taking care of myself and prepare for a newborn.

Big Bad Belly Shots - 26 Weeks

Here I am at 26 weeks.

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I can hear the gasps and chuckles of sheer SHOCK from here guys! STOP THAT!

For giggles, I've compiled some past pictures together for comparison.
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Preparing for Baby

First Trimester Accomplishments:

• We were finally pregnant! And we conceived on a cycle where we decided to give “trying” a rest to BOOT! We needed a change because throughout the entire process of “baby dancing”, we were well behaved little baby making machines. There was no way I was going to pro-create life having my ass slapped and getting called a naughty little ….. OOPS! See what happens when you let your guard down for a second. Wouldn’t you know we finally got pregnant when we let loose and decided to let Mother Nature take her course! Sorry Baby Cadeau….we tried to keep it pure and innocent, but I guess it was never meant to be!
• Husband is relieved to discover his “soldiers” really do work and to this day continues to wear a sheepish grin on his face and struts around proud as a peacock! Who knew how flattering it is to the male ego when they realize what their second brain is capable of.
• Does hibernating for three months count as preparing?

Second Trimester Accomplishments:

• Realized I wasn’t getting any skinnier, and bought maternity clothes.
• Refused to give up my regular size underwear. My ass cheeks hang off the side WILL FOREVER FIT IN A SIZE SMALL!
• Bought a crib, mattress and matching bedding and sheets (it has to all match because we all know your kid will grow up to be waaaaaaaaaaaaaay retarded if the sheets don’t match)
• Bought an “Assemble it Yourself” dresser kit at Walmart. Those things should be called “Make an Ass of Yourself” dresser kits! So much for trying to save some money. By the time we factored in the hours it took my husband to assemble the darn thing, we could have bought a whole furniture factory!
• Bought a Graco MetroLite Lightweight Travel System. This travel system has more features and ergonomic this and that’s than I would have ever dreamed of. All so VERY important because we all know how hard it is to push something on wheels! The grocery stores should take some tips from these space age stroller designs. Where are the ergonomic handles on those grocery carts?
  
  

Third Trimester Accomplishments:

• None yet as I am still a couple weeks shy of my final home stretch, but devouring every morsel of chocolate in sight is high on my priority list right now.

Career Opportunity up for Grabs!

Today is a day of mixed emotions for me. Today my job is officially up for grabs!

My boss wants me to have at least a month of cross training with the person who will be taking over for me when I go on Maternity Leave, and that means, the interview process needs to start.

Here in Canada, we have the option to take a one year leave from our jobs after a baby is born. The government pays you Employment Insurance (something we pay into on every paycheck). Employment Insurance is available to all Canadians who have met certain requirements, such as hours worked in the past year, at a rate of 55% of your salary, to a maximum of $413/week.

The way it works is that you are granted a 15 week “maternity leave”, and then you have the option of taking a 35 week “parental leave”. The parental leave is available for either the father or the mother, or to a parent who has adopted a child. After your 50 weeks of Employment Insurance has finished, it is the law that your employer maintains a position for you (not necessarily the same one), and that the position is of equal or greater pay and seniority.

It will take a while to get used to our new financial situation. Even at $413/week that amount is still taxed at 20%. (I guess that’s better than the 33% I pay on my regular salary). TAX TAX TAX…by the time we pay our GST (Goods and Service Tax) and PST (Provincial Sales Tax), which add up to 15% on everything else we buy, we’re shelling out almost 50% of our hard earned dollars to the Government!

Thanks goodness for RRSP’s (Registered Retirement Savings Plan). At least they let us shelter our money from tax until we retire, and hopefully, withdraw the money from a lower tax bracket).

A nice thing that my employer offers for Maternity Leave, in addition the Employment Insurance from the Government is six weeks of your salary at 95%. From what I understand, that is quite generous. Your benefits also remain in tact while on your leave as well. They also continue to contribute a percentage of my salary to my pension plan, and I have the option of continuing my contributions to the pension plan at work as well.

So, all that being said, time is moving quickly, and I really need to start getting all my files and documentation in order at work. My last day is March 31! If you know any who wants to be a Database Analysts/Web Developer, let me know!

Food for Thought

I just got back from a doctors appointment. I must admit, it was such a disappointment. My regular OB is on holidays, and in her place was a doctor with the personality of a rock. He was cold and unfriendly, but he did what was required and expected of him. I just really missed the cheery and charismatic personality of my regular OB.

More importantly however, everything is progressing well with baby. I have gained another 5 pounds this month, which puts me at a total weight gain of 18 pounds.

For fun, I thought I would take a moment and analyze my typical food consumption for a day.

Here is what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast:
½ cup of coffee
1 Whole Grain, Flax Seed bagel with peanut butter
1 glass of calcium fortified orange juice

Mid Morning Snack:
1 granny smith apple
1 small carrot muffin
Milkshake

Lunch:
1 Whole Grain, Flax Seed bagel with cheese and butter
A handful of baby carrots
1 can of V8 juice

Mid Afternoon Snack:
2 low fat yogurts
3 tangerine oranges

Dinner:
Minestrone soup
1 can of Canada Dry (Gingerale)

Evening Snack:
Crackers and Cheese
Handful of Peanuts

And of course, I take three prenatal vitamins a day. I take the kind with calcium because I am not a huge fan of milk. I eat milk, but only in cream soups, Kraft dinner, cream sauces, milkshakes and smoothies and the like.

Here is how my food intake stacks up against the Vegetarian Food Guide for Pregnant Woman.

Recommended:
Grains (7 or more)
Legumes, Nuts, Seeds, Milks (5 or more)
Vegetables (4 or more)
Fruit (4 or more)

Karla’s Intake:
Grains (7)
Legumes, Nuts, Seeds, Milks (7)
Vegetables (4)
Fruit (4)

Many people are quite surprised and shocked when I tell them I am pregnant and have chosen not to eat meat. I considered (with much dread) altering my diet and including chicken for the pregnancy, but after talking to my doctor and researching vegetarianism and pregnancy, I was contented to learn that vegetarian woman who eat a well balanced diet have completely healthy babies (in fact, babies born to vegetarian woman have surprisingly higher birth weights compared to those babies born from woman who consumed meat).

I have been a vegetarian for 13 or 14 years now. I do not eat any fish, meat (including chicken), or eggs. I do however, consume dairy products, and eat food that has been prepared with eggs as an ingredient (i.e. cake, bread, etc).

My husband, on the other hand, is a meat-a-tarian. Veggies and fruit, according to him, are some gruesome form of punishment. As I’m sure you can imagine, meal time in our home is somewhat challenging, and were still working on how exactly to handle our conflicting eating habits once our baby arrives and starts sitting down to eat meals with us. That however, is a story for another day.

Trading UP!

Trading up is generally understood to be good thing. Some day, I hope to trade up our quant little three bedroom house in Suburbia Toronto to a larger four bedroom model to accommodate yet another addition to our family (Hint Hint…Nudge Nudge Babycakes!)

The thought of trading up for a larger salary always sounds enticing. I would even like trade up our two door Sunfire GT for a more convenient four door family style vehicle (although I bet my husband would call that trading down…he’s still waiting for his Trans-am). I would like to trade up my notebook computer for something more powerful. You can see how trading up can be quite a positive experience.

Today was no different. Today I had to trade up to a bigger size at the maternity store. Some of the pants I bought when I was 14 weeks pregnant can longer accommodate my expanding girth (picture the fine art of sausage stuffing). Although somewhat distraught with the fact my stomach is not the only expanding body part and that my hips are magically widening as well, I will take comfort in the fact that as I trade up in size, I now have a pair of pants that fit properly I now have some amazingly large breasts!

That is what puts a smile on my husbands face today!

Quack Quack....Waddle Waddle

It is official ladies and gentleman, my worst pregnancy fear has come true! I am starting to WADDLE!

I was making my usual morning trip to the kitchen at the office this morning, when one of my wonderful co-workers started to giggle behind me…”Oh my goodness Karla, it’s happening, you are starting to waddle!”

I begged and pleaded with my husband to let me know when this unfortunate turn of events started happening, so either he didn’t notice, or wanted to spare me the humiliation.

I have been sensing that my balance and coordination are changing. (I keep having these foolish daydreams of me giving up walking and taking up the art of "rolling" to my destination). I was sure I wasn’t walking as gracefully as in my pre-pregnancy days, but to have to accept that my body has surrendered to the proverbial pregnancy waddle at only sixth and half months pregnant is not easy on the ego!

You Know it's Love When…

You know it's love when…
You have to ask your husband to clip your TOENAILS!
Yes, that’s right, my growing abdomen is now officially too big to let me bend and contort in a way that I can reach my own two feet to perform the simple task of cutting my own toenails!

You know it's love when…
After a wonderfully romantic evening of dinner and a movie, all you want to do is go home to bed (to sleep….by 10:00 on a Saturday night).

You know it's love when…
Before crashing after your hot date, your husband lovingly agrees to slather your “anti stretch mark” cream all over your belly like he is greasing up a side of bacon.

You know it's love when…
Your idea of “sexy nighttime attire” for the next 9 months rest of your life is stretchy cotton pants and an oversized sweater.

You know it's love when…
Frolicking in bed now involves playing “toe biting” and “belly rubs” with the cats.

You know it's love when…
Your husband offers to shave your legs FOR YOU because he understands how shaving your legs becomes increasingly harder to do when you have a big belly in the way. (I haven’t figured out if he is just trying to be nice or is trying to tell me something) ;-)

You know it's love when…
This is what your husband decides to do with the Garter Belt he caught at his brother’s wedding.





















Best of all…
You know it's love when you husband tells you every day how much you mean to him, never lets a day go by without a passionate kiss, and even after eight years of being together, the symmetry and connectedness we share grows stronger with and each and every passing day. Our commitment and love for one another is like the greatest love poem being transcribed each and every day.

Spanking: A Hot Topic about Corporal Punishment.

Christi has sparked my interested with a recent post about the pros and cons on the use of spanking as a form of discipline for a child. I thought I would elaborate on my thoughts here at my blog on the subject.

I am a firm believer that spanking is NOT a necessary form of discipline or punishment for a child.

I could never advocate or encourage any form of discipline that requires physical force, as I believe there are more effective forms of discipline.

That being said, I understand that spanking your child is a choice many parents choose, and I think the critical issue here isn’t whether corporal punishment is a widely preferred form of disciple in many countries around world; but rather HOW corporal punishment is administered.

Although I do not endorse or believe in spanking, I do acknowledge that it is a choice. Spanking shouldn’t be a form of humiliation or embarrassment. If one chooses to spank, I think the following rules should apply to ensure love and understanding are a continually being fostered within your child.

1. Spanking should never be administered on a whim or impulse when the parent is angry. Motivations for any form of discipline should be out of love for the purpose of teaching and correction, never for revenge or to inflict pain.

2. If spanking as a form of discipline is ineffective, other appropriate responses need to be identified to correct the behaviour. Parents should never increase the intensity of a spanking or try to measure the intensity of the spanking based on the child’s wrong doing.

3.Spanking should never cause bruising or cause physical injury.

4. Spanking should always be a planned action (not an angry reaction). The spanking should never cause humiliation or belittlement of the child (i.e. not administered in public).

5. Before punishment, calmly review the offence with the child and the desired behaviour or outcome to reinforce understanding.

6. The rules of the home need to be made clear. Punishment should not be given if none of these rules were broken. It is not fair to punish a child for something they did not know was wrong.

There have been some interesting discussions around spanking and its use in the bible. The phrase “spare the rod and spoil the child” as a form of corporal punishment is strongly recommended in the Old Testament. Most bible quotations that advocate spanking appear in the book or Proverbs.

Most religious conservative believe that the book of Proverbs was assembled by King Solomon and the passages that deal with spanking are thought to reflect his parenting beliefs around his son, Rehoboam. The bible itself records the negative effect that Solomon’s parenting style had on his son. When his son became ruler after his death, he was widely hated and even had run away to Jerusalem to avoid being assassinated by his own people.

What I understand from the bibles message is that if you don’t want your children to grow up like Rehoboam, then you should NOT follow Solomon’s parenting style as it was depicted in the bible.

Others would argue, I’m sure, that Solomon’s parenting recommendations reflect God’s expectations, and therefore, using spanking as a form of disciple in acceptable.

To each their own, I’m just trying to provide both sides of the King Solomon story.

Not everyone will take the same approach to parenting, and that is ok, because what works for one won’t work for everyone. Most of us are well intentioned humans, and I’m sure no matter what form of discipline you choose, as long as you have the best of intentions, your motivations are pure, and it works for you and your child without physical harm involved, then you have succeeded at one of the most difficult jobs a human can have (which I am very much looking forward to), and that is to raise child.

What My Mother Taught Me

My boss emailed me this the other day…I’m sure we’ve all heard these axioms before, without realizing the valuable lessons they held!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3.. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give yousomething to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all those peas are gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17.. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18 My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand"

25. And my favorite: - My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you

Naming Baby

My earlier post about Crazy Baby Names described some of the more shocking and absurd names that I have heard of. That was my comic relief from the stressful task of trying to find a name suitable for a human being I have never met!

We spilled the beans over the holidays about the sex of the baby. It was just too much to keep a secret any longer. I still maintain however, that even though the Ultrasound Technician thinks it’s a girl, there is a still a chance she was wrong.

My gut in the beginning was “boy”. I have even dreamed I met our child. I saw his face. He was definitely a boy…but now I don’t known what to think anymore. There are too many conflicting opinions and my gut feelings are nowhere to be found anymore, so for now, its wait and see.

Nonetheless, here is where we stand with names. We made it through the boys list (but still have a ways to go at shorting the list and finding middle names as well). We haven’t quite finished the girls list. We have one name picked out, but all you need is one!

Boy Names:
Braeden
Carson
Carter
Conner
Cooper
Dawson
Drake
Draven
Ethan
Gibson
Haden
Jaxon
Jaxson
Marcson
Nate
Nolan
Quentin

Girl Names:
Ava Marie Cadeau

Ultimately, we would like to have about 3 names for each gender. That way, if the one name we pick just doesn’t work once we meet face to face for the first time, we have a couple to fall back on.