Maternity Clothes = BROKE

I finally had to bite to the bullet and fork over some dough for maternity clothes. Two days shy of 15 weeks; I was bursting at the seams. I already popped most of the buttons on my work clothes, and putting on my jeans felt like I was trying to stuff a sausage. Part of me was really looking forward to the experience of shopping for clothes that would flatter and show off my changing figure, and the other part of me was certainly NOT looking forward to the cost of adding pieces to my wardrobe that would only work for the next few months.

I decided quite early on that looking and feeling good throughout my pregnancy was very important to me. (Who wouldn’t want to look and feel good right?)

I’m very practical, so I had to come up with a plan to balance the cost of looking and feeling good, and working with my clothing budget. Thankfully, a good friend of mine who has already been through the whole maternity clothing and pregnancy (and who just so happens to be one of the most fashionable dressers I have ever seen) was able to join me to help me pick pieces that looked good as well as were functional.

We met at Thyme Maternity last night. Thank goodness my friend was with me. There was soooo many different styles of pants to choose from. Low rise, classic, 3-in-one, now and after’s ….soo much to learn.
I tried on pretty much every pair of pants in the store. There were definitely styles that were more flattering than others, and thank god my friend was there to help me out on that front. After about 99 pairs of pants, your image starts to get distorted…because you just really want the next pair of pants to look good. That started happening to me. I came out of the change room with a pair of pants that were a few millimeters of material short of MC Hammer style pants. Starting to get frustrated, I exclaimed to my friend “What do you think? These aren’t so bad are they?” Being the ever so polite and diplomatic person that she is, she just smiled and said “They don’t seem like you style”. Taking another look in the mirror, I realized how right she was. I immediately burst out laughing and thanked her for her tactfulness and not just telling me they were FAT pants! The best maternity shopping advice I can give is to make sure you bring a trustworthy friend to give you the honest lowdown on how you look!

I decided I liked the “Banded” style of pants with a 2 ½ inch elastic band. They fit really well, were super comfortable and I could totally wear them after I gave birth while working off the pregnancy pounds. I doubt they will take me up until the 9th month, but like I said earlier, I went into this knowing I wanted to look and feel good, and if that meant I might need a few more items later on my pregnancy, so be it. I refused to wear something that was ten sized too big for the sake of saving a couple of bucks.

That theory might totally go out the window if I balloon so big in the next couple of weeks and don’t fit into my pants anymore, but live and learn right? Ces la vie!

Houston, We Have a Heartbeat!

Last week, I had the most fortunate opportunity to finally hear my little baby’s heartbeat! What an amazing sound that was!

It was my first visit at the OB’s office. I was tremendously relieved upon meeting my new doctor to find out I felt completely at ease and comfortable with her.

The machine they use to listen for a heartbeat is a called a Doppler. I guess the heartbeat isn’t quite strong enough to be heard by stethoscope yet. I was overjoyed the minute she put the Doppler on my belly and we instantly heard a good strong heartbeat. It only lasted for a split second though. I was told my baby is quite active and she had to keep chasing him to hear the heartbeat. She would actually poke on my stomach to get him to move closer to the Doppler machine.

I think it’s so amazing that my baby is already responding to being poked at.

The sound of my own baby’s heartbeat was the best thing I have ever had the pleasure of listening to. It was the first real assurance that there is in fact a real person (albeit a super tiny person) living and growing inside me. It was an eye opening experience that I will never forget.

To have a Midwife or an OB…that is the question.

An incident occurred at the family doctors that really left me wondering whether my choice to work with an Obstetrician was the right one.

Back when I first found I was preggo, hubby and I went to the doctors just to make sure everything was on the up and up. I was sort of miffed at how little they do for you so early on. I wasn’t expecting for them to roll out the red carpet or anything, but I guess I just didn’t realize that there is very little pre-natal care offered from the medical world in the first trimester of pregnancy.

Anyhow, after what felt like weeks of sorting out mixed up blood work results, we finally learn that all my blood tests were ok and I didn’t have any strange diseases or weird blood that I would pass on to my baby. It was at that meeting that my doc told me to book an appointment for my first prenatal at 10 weeks.

The night hubby and I show up for the “first prenatal visit” I could tell my doc was running behind schedule. Our 7:00 p.m. appointment became an 8:30 p.m. appointment. Finally, they call my name. Hand in hand, hubby and I are seated in the little examination office and the assistant asks us what brings us to see the doctor. Excitedly, I announce “my first prenatal checkup”. I think she wanted to pass out! I heard her tell the doctor what we were here for and very coldly I heard the doctor say “WAS THE APPOINTMENT BOOKED THAT WAY?!” Little did I realize, it was my responsibility when calling to book an appointment to explain my reason for coming? I can certainly see from the doctor’s perspective that was important to know so she can allocate her time appropriately, but as far as I was concerned, it should be up to her staff to ensure they know what patients are coming in for…not the onus of the patient to remember to tell them.

When the doctor finally came to see me, she coldly told me that I should have told them what I was coming in for. I was BLOWN away. Like I said earlier, I didn’t feel like how the office manages their time was my responsibility. Their office was a business, and I am a customer.

Of course, having the explosive personality that I do exclaimed “I’m sorry if you are frustrated that you are running late this evening, but I don’t believe that was my responsibility”. I think that really surprises her because she said she wasn’t mad an even tried to make jokes during the visit, but the damage was done. The 10 minute window that was allotted for me was cutting into her OHIP payments from the government and I felt like a piece of crap that my pregnancy was being put on a time limit.

A little unnerved, she proceeded to perform a semi-physical (in between seeing other patients --- YES we certainly were “fit in” between other patient visit”) and fill out the necessary paperwork to send to the OB who would be taking over my pre-natal care.

Leaving the office that night, a feeling of emotional need overcame me. I hate the coldness my doctor’s visit left with. I felt concerned about what lie ahead for the remaining 7 months. Who would have time to answer my questions? Where was the individual care for my baby going to come from and most importantly, will the medical profession looking after me treat my pregnancy like the unique and special experience it is?

I knew the role of a midwife was to treat each and every pregnancy as a unique and special event for a mom-to-be. I also knew that every appointment with a midwife was 30-45 minutes in length and that absolutely, positively; without question, the midwife was on call 24/7 to be there to deliver your baby.

I started weighing the pros and cons. An OB is not on call 24/7 and although she is your caregiver for 9 months, she may not even be the person to deliver you baby. That bothered me. I really had to do some soul searching. I remember in the beginning, I wasn’t even considering a midwife because I was certain the love and support my husband, family and friends gave would be enough to fill the emotional need I have right now. I was wrong. Don’t get my wrong….my husband, family and friends have been a tremendous support, but the difference is, they are not trained in the field of working with the worries and concerns pregnant women have. And we have a lot!!!

As resourceful as I like to think I am about finding my own answers, with the wealth of information out there today, a simple question can have 20 answers. And usually, given your research and own personal intelligence, a normal person can come to a logical conclusion based on the information in front of them. That is not the case for a pregnant lady! Any pregnant woman out there will tell you that no matter how small the issue, you want to make sure that whatever goes into your body is absolutely 100% safe. How will my doc have time to answer everything in 10 minutes once a month? Why is there a 30 minute time difference between OB and midwife appointment? What am I missing?

Finally, after much soul searching and discussing our options with my husband, I had finally made up my mind. I decided that no matter how emotionally needy I was at this time in my life; medically supervised care far outweighed the emotional satisfaction I would get from a midwife. There are many other ways to get the answers you need besides a doctor anyways. Telehealth Ontario is a great resource where you can speak to registered nurse 24 hours a day, and Motherisk is another amazing place to obtain evidence based information about the safety or risk of drugs, chemicals and disease during pregnancy. I just called them today actually to discuss the safety of getting a flu shot!

As I have quickly learned, having your first baby is a like walking blindfolded down a dark tunnel, and there is some comfort in knowing the people looking after you have a medical degree.

Perhaps for our next baby, once we have been down this path once and learn the ropes, a midwife will be a better option for me.

The Husband with "Pregnant Wife Instinct"

Ok ok…I know a lot of time has passed since I found out I was preggo…about three and half months, but I can honestly say there wasn’t much to write about in that time. With the first trimester nausea and tiredness behind me, I can honestly say I’m starting to feel like a real human again.

A whole bunch of important dates happened while battling through the woes of morning sickness (and a nasty head cold). The first big date was the day we moved into our new house. I was as useless as two left thumbs that day, with the help of our families though; we managed to get most of our boxes unpacked in one day!

The next big date for hubby and I was our 1 year anniversary. Of course, being a crabby AND a sick pregnant lady who caught the worst cold in the world, I was content to spend our anniversary weekend sleeping. My poor husband…he was so understanding, and a tremendous help while I was sick.

And last but not least, my birthday rolled around a few days after our anniversary. We celebrated in bed with a bowl of chocolate ice cream. And hubby even let me rent Beethoven’s 4th! He must have really been feeling for me because he HATES those kinds of movies.

Celebrations and milestones behind us (at least for a while) and the first trimester here and gone, things are going really well. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband. He is always a big help around the house and very supportive of everything I do, but throughout this pregnancy so far, he has been an absolute angel from heaven.

We’ve all heard of “Mother’s Instinct”, but let me tell you, my hubby has “Pregnant Wife Instinct”. It’s TRUE!Above and beyond all the help around the house he already did, he actually notices dishes on the counter, crumbs that need to be cleaned and a dishwasher that needs emptying. This is absolutely amazing stuff! You see, hubby isn’t the type of guy who usually notices stuff like dirty dishes or counters that need to be whipped. Those sorts of things have always sort of been tuned out. I haven’t decided yet however if his “Pregnant Wife Instinct” powers are those of wanting to help out around the house, or those of feeling it is NECESSARY to help out around the house while there is a pregnant woman marching around with about a billion new hormones kicked into high gear just waiting like a time bomb to go off. Either way, his extra help, always knowing the right things to say and his endless love and devotion have been a pillar of support for me thus far.

The "Pee Stick" that Changed my Life

Ok…Here goes. I tried the whole “blogging” experience a while back and just couldn’t get into it. I don’t know if my life was just incredibly uneventful at the time, or I just didn’t have much I wanted to share, or maybe I just couldn’t find the time. In any case, I’m here to try it again. Lots of things have changed since I last blogged. I remember wanting to start a blog as a place to vent about my frustrations about not being able to conceive. Well those days are LOOOOONG gone sister! Hubby and I are finally pregnant!

It seems like all the emotions around trying to conceive are a distant memory now. At the time, the process of baby making consumed my life. But I’m not here to dwell on that today, because I am now 14 weeks pregnant and I couldn’t be happier.

I decided that I wanted to give blogging another kick at the can. Afterall, this is such a big milestone for me and husband that I thought it might be fun to try to capture my “preggo thoughts and feelings” in a blog.

I remember the day I found out. Truthfully, I suspected a couple days before hand that I was indeed pregnant. I remember waking up on a Sunday morning not feeling so great, and my boobs hurt like crazy. I sorta ignored my gut instinct though because as I’m sure you can image, after months of wanting something so bad, I was a master at convincing myself every twitch, pain or gas bubble in my body must mean I’m pregnant.

Not wanting to go through another let down of the “uneventful pee stick”, I decided to wait to test another day just in case good old Aunt Flo paid a visit a day or two late. By Monday morning when nothing had happened, I swear I got out of bed with and actually skipped my sick ass and sore boobs to the shower. Things were looking up! All day at work on Monday I wanted to take a pregnancy test, but I waited. I wanted to be in the privacy of my own home when I learned the news.

I knew my husband was traveling and would be home a little later than usual, so I made sure I gulped a glass of water before I left work so I would be good and ready to do my pee test. Of course, as soon as I got home, barely locking the door behind me and before I even said hello the cats, I was on the toilet doing my “pee test”. It was POSITIVE!
I was shocked. No words can describe how I felt that very moment. I think every emotion that a human is capable of rushed through my body that very instant. I was so overjoyed and I couldn’t wait to share the news with my husband.

MY HUSBAND!

I had to find a creative way to break the good news! I didn’t know how long I had until he got home, so I did what any woman would do in a time of urgency….I went to the mall. I wasn’t really sure what I was looking for, but I wanted something that said “baby” all over it. After wandering around for a little while (and what a schmuck I must have looked like with such a big grin shopping at Zellers!), I decided on a baby bottle. I thought I could place it at his computer desk and just wait to see how he reacts.

I tried to remain calm and non-chalant as he came home. I thought I was doing a good job of hiding my “news” but as I would later learn, hubby totally knew something was up. As usual though, be said his hello’s and then headed off to check email. I remember the look on his face when he saw the baby bottle. His eyes lit up, he looked at me (as my tears finally started welling up) and then he sorta stuck his tough out a bit and did his happy head shake. It was a beautiful moment between us, one that we will certainly treasure forever. And what does one do in the midst of such a special moment…we freak out! OMIGOD, we need to get healthy food! And LOTS OF IT! We need milk, we need fruit, we need vegetables. So, as the new chapter of our life unfolds, the two of rush dash off to the grocery store hand in hand dreaming of what lies ahead of us….