Stock Market Tips I wish I had Learned before I became Pregnant

Tip Number 1:
Invest in Batteries!

The baby companies MUST be conspiring with the battery companies to ensure that absolutely EVERYTHING baby requires batteries (usually D size...FOUR OF THEM!).

I wouldn't be surprised if they even found a way to incorporate batteries in diapers to play a little jinkle when they become soiled.

Tip Number 2:
Invest in Toilet Paper. (Is TP a commodity? It should be. Think how lost we would be without it!)

Pregnant woman have to pee far too much. I think I finally understand where the term “Piss like a Racehorse” comes from.