A Breakdown of Sorts

The other night, while laying in bed watching TV, I felt that familiar sensation that told me I had to pee yet again (my toilet is now on a first name basis with my ass considering how frequently they connect these days).

Letting out a big sigh (because what would be the fun of being pregnant if you can’t be dramatic every once in a while), I attempted to lift me and belly out of bed.

I usually know better than to try and sit up straight from a semi-reclined position. My once firm and intact abdominal muscles have split apart like the continents have shifted since their days of being one giant Pangaea. Although I doubt my abs have experienced continent drift on the massive scale our continents have, they certainly are no longer intact! Somewhere in between panting and wrestling with my body to sit up, my back decided to completely conk out on me. I shrieked out loud in pain and fell back down on the bed in shock from what I had just experienced. Back pain had never felt so BAD!

Regaining my composer, I tried to sit up again, only to get so far before I was met with the same incredibly stabbing pain in my lower back. It was so painful it brought tears to my eyes. Mark, decided at this point to bite the bullet (despite my constant requests for independence to do things on my own), and make me swallow my pride and help me get out of bed.

I welcomed his assistance at this point despite how ridiculously embarrassing it was not being able to roll myself of bed. I started having visions of paralysis and giant cranes busting through our bedroom window in an attempt to get me to a hospital to empty my bladder.

Deciding to try getting up from the side, I rolled over and positioned one foot on the floor, while Mark gently pulled my arm to get me in an upright position. It was a no go. I could only make it half way up before the back pain returned. It was too much. I started bawling. I don’t know if I was crying from the pain or the humiliation that I was incapable of rolling myself out of bed, but the mighty tear ducts where in full force.

What a sight we must have been. My husband trying to gently tug on my arm to help me out of bed, and me lying there paralyzed with back pain, half hanging off the bed and sobbing like a little baby. How many people DOES it take to roll a pregnant lady of bed?

In hindsight, it is pretty funny. Eventually I managed to wiggle and squirm me and my belly out of bed and got a wonderful back massage out of the deal.

That was breakdown number 2! I suppose that’s not so bad for a Prego!