Would You Like Ribs or Intestines With That?

While baby continues to grow and put on fat, she is demanding more and more space in my uterus. So much space in fact, that my other organs, such as my intestines and my stomach are getting squashed and mashed somewhere up in my ribs. My appendix is being pushed up somewhere near the vicinity of….oh…I would say MY THROAT!

As of late, I can only manage a few bites of food at a time, after which I feel fullness in my stomach like I have just “gone to town” on an all you can eat dessert buffet. My appetite and food consumption has been so drastically reduced that I must now exercise extra caution to ensure that every morsel of food I put in my mouth is nutritious.

Since my uterus is pushing and squishing my diaphragm into places I don’t even want to know about, my lungs just don't have the ability to expand like they did in the good old days. I suppose they have enough air capacity to keep me alive; however I can’t help but wonder what the effects of oxygen deprivation must be having on my already vulnerable pregnancy brain.

My ribs are black and blue from baby kicking them. Yesterday evening I had some jarring pain in my ribs. As my husband massaged them, he pointed out that something hard was poking them. He seemed to remember something from our pre-natal classes where you are encouraged to get down on all fours and jiggle around to see if you can get the baby to shift positions. I have no memory of this recommendation (in fact it sounded absolutely ridiculous), but I tried it anyway in hopes of relief. I think he just wanted to see if I would do it so he could giggle at the pregnant lady crawling and jiggling like a crazy farm animal on the floor.

As the baby fattens up I’m convinced she has found contentment in a position that fully concentrates her entire weight on my bladder. I constantly feel like I need to urinate. It’s like the mother of all Urinary Tract Infections that you know won’t go away for about three months.

I have also started to experience restless leg syndrome. I often startle my husband out of his peaceful slumber while my legs and body involuntarily twitch and spasm. Miraculously, I can sleep through these seizure like episodes, but I wake up at the slightest urge to tinkle.

For your viewing pleasure, let me present an illustration of the amazing journey upon which my appendix has embarked:

Location of the appendix at various times during pregnancy

Oh revenge will be so sweet baby! I am going to dress you in all the frilliest pink outfits you can imagine right up until you turn 16!

I think that should make us about even!