To have a Midwife or an OB…that is the question.

An incident occurred at the family doctors that really left me wondering whether my choice to work with an Obstetrician was the right one.

Back when I first found I was preggo, hubby and I went to the doctors just to make sure everything was on the up and up. I was sort of miffed at how little they do for you so early on. I wasn’t expecting for them to roll out the red carpet or anything, but I guess I just didn’t realize that there is very little pre-natal care offered from the medical world in the first trimester of pregnancy.

Anyhow, after what felt like weeks of sorting out mixed up blood work results, we finally learn that all my blood tests were ok and I didn’t have any strange diseases or weird blood that I would pass on to my baby. It was at that meeting that my doc told me to book an appointment for my first prenatal at 10 weeks.

The night hubby and I show up for the “first prenatal visit” I could tell my doc was running behind schedule. Our 7:00 p.m. appointment became an 8:30 p.m. appointment. Finally, they call my name. Hand in hand, hubby and I are seated in the little examination office and the assistant asks us what brings us to see the doctor. Excitedly, I announce “my first prenatal checkup”. I think she wanted to pass out! I heard her tell the doctor what we were here for and very coldly I heard the doctor say “WAS THE APPOINTMENT BOOKED THAT WAY?!” Little did I realize, it was my responsibility when calling to book an appointment to explain my reason for coming? I can certainly see from the doctor’s perspective that was important to know so she can allocate her time appropriately, but as far as I was concerned, it should be up to her staff to ensure they know what patients are coming in for…not the onus of the patient to remember to tell them.

When the doctor finally came to see me, she coldly told me that I should have told them what I was coming in for. I was BLOWN away. Like I said earlier, I didn’t feel like how the office manages their time was my responsibility. Their office was a business, and I am a customer.

Of course, having the explosive personality that I do exclaimed “I’m sorry if you are frustrated that you are running late this evening, but I don’t believe that was my responsibility”. I think that really surprises her because she said she wasn’t mad an even tried to make jokes during the visit, but the damage was done. The 10 minute window that was allotted for me was cutting into her OHIP payments from the government and I felt like a piece of crap that my pregnancy was being put on a time limit.

A little unnerved, she proceeded to perform a semi-physical (in between seeing other patients --- YES we certainly were “fit in” between other patient visit”) and fill out the necessary paperwork to send to the OB who would be taking over my pre-natal care.

Leaving the office that night, a feeling of emotional need overcame me. I hate the coldness my doctor’s visit left with. I felt concerned about what lie ahead for the remaining 7 months. Who would have time to answer my questions? Where was the individual care for my baby going to come from and most importantly, will the medical profession looking after me treat my pregnancy like the unique and special experience it is?

I knew the role of a midwife was to treat each and every pregnancy as a unique and special event for a mom-to-be. I also knew that every appointment with a midwife was 30-45 minutes in length and that absolutely, positively; without question, the midwife was on call 24/7 to be there to deliver your baby.

I started weighing the pros and cons. An OB is not on call 24/7 and although she is your caregiver for 9 months, she may not even be the person to deliver you baby. That bothered me. I really had to do some soul searching. I remember in the beginning, I wasn’t even considering a midwife because I was certain the love and support my husband, family and friends gave would be enough to fill the emotional need I have right now. I was wrong. Don’t get my wrong….my husband, family and friends have been a tremendous support, but the difference is, they are not trained in the field of working with the worries and concerns pregnant women have. And we have a lot!!!

As resourceful as I like to think I am about finding my own answers, with the wealth of information out there today, a simple question can have 20 answers. And usually, given your research and own personal intelligence, a normal person can come to a logical conclusion based on the information in front of them. That is not the case for a pregnant lady! Any pregnant woman out there will tell you that no matter how small the issue, you want to make sure that whatever goes into your body is absolutely 100% safe. How will my doc have time to answer everything in 10 minutes once a month? Why is there a 30 minute time difference between OB and midwife appointment? What am I missing?

Finally, after much soul searching and discussing our options with my husband, I had finally made up my mind. I decided that no matter how emotionally needy I was at this time in my life; medically supervised care far outweighed the emotional satisfaction I would get from a midwife. There are many other ways to get the answers you need besides a doctor anyways. Telehealth Ontario is a great resource where you can speak to registered nurse 24 hours a day, and Motherisk is another amazing place to obtain evidence based information about the safety or risk of drugs, chemicals and disease during pregnancy. I just called them today actually to discuss the safety of getting a flu shot!

As I have quickly learned, having your first baby is a like walking blindfolded down a dark tunnel, and there is some comfort in knowing the people looking after you have a medical degree.

Perhaps for our next baby, once we have been down this path once and learn the ropes, a midwife will be a better option for me.